Nashville Five

Nashville Five /// Happy F**king Valentines Day with Flogging Molly

Flogging Molly will get f**cking romantic all over you, Nashville. flogging_molly_large

So, it’s Valentines Day, but maybe you’re more into the green – St. Patrick’s Day – then the red and pink. Flogging Molly, Los Angeles’ own Celtic punk ensemble, is playing tonight at Marathon Music Works as part of their Green 17 tour, a countdown to St. Paddy’s with a celebration in each city they stop in. Tonight’s show happens to fall on the schmaltziest of holidays, so it’s the perfect antidote if you’d rather thrash around then fight the crowds at CVS for the last of the Valentine’s Day card pickings and then pay too much for a mediocre dinner with four courses that might have been better as one. Not like I’m speaking from personal experience or anything.

(They also recently recorded “The Times They Are A-Changin” on Chimes Of Freedom: The Songs Of Bob Dylan, a tribute album to Bobby Z. This is not relevant to Valentines Day, but Bob Dylan is, well, always relevant in my book).

But not that these guys aren’t romantic or anything. Why, au contraire! Here’s A Happy F**king Valentines by Flogging Molly. If you want more, head to Marathon Music Works tonight with zero red on and your best steel-toed boots. Because who doesn’t think a hot date to a GG Allin show wouldn’t be the most romantic of all?

1. Five new funny sweetheart candy messages (those candy hearts that say “Be Mine”, “My Baby” etc) :::

-I’m Not Contagious Right Now

-You Make it Hurt When I Pee

-I Love Your Boobs

-Nice Smile

-My Eyes Are Up Here

2. Five ways to ditch your terrible Valentine’s date :::

-Tell her you have to wash your hair

-Tell her you think you are having an outbreak during dinner

-Tell her you are married and not to “her”

-Go to the bathroom and slam your finger in the bathroom door

-Tell her you are goin out for cigs and never come back

3. Five ways to a cheap Valentine’s Day :::

-Look for flowers delivered on front porches and re-gift them

-Move it to fFeb 16th

-Go out on TOUR

-Make dinner and tell her its romantic

-Go out on TOUR during Feb

 4. Five worst Valentine’s Day dates possible :::

-A Flogging Molly show

-Mini golf

-GG Allin show

-An American Pie movie

-Digging worms for your fishing trip the next day

5. Five funny Valentine’s Day gifts :::

-Dick in a box

-Fighting fish

-Pregnancy test

-Used pregnancy test

-50 pack of mag. condoms

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: